I’m not sure when people decided the best time to get married was right out of college – the time when your life is the least stable and normal, when your career, future and ability to support yourself are in question.
Logically, this is the worst time to get married, yet people keep rushing to the aisles ready to say “I do” without the slightest clue of what it takes to be in a successful marriage.
Getting married doesn’t make you an adult
Getting married doesn’t make you an adult. It doesn’t make you more grown up or make others think you’re successful and on the road to the top. Getting married is something you do when you and your partner are fully ready to take on the huge responsibility of taking care of each other. If you can’t even take care of yourself, why would you enter into a marriage?
I’ve been noticing this among millennial a who act like they need to prove they’re all “grown up.” So they leave college and already assume a successful career lies before them – so getting married is the next adult thing to do.
If you’re unemployed, it’s not the right time to get married.
Getting married isn’t an accomplishment – stop acting like it is
It is odd to me when people do mediocre things and act and expect people to be in awe.
Getting married is not an accomplishment. Staying married for 30 years is an accomplishment. But getting engaged and walking down the aisle is something antrhjng can do. Especially when your parents are probably going to end up paying for your wedding – since you can’t afford a dream wedding anyways – it is nothing to mark in your “successful accomplishments” column.
You have to have a job to get married
Getting married and starting a family is expensive. Just like getting a home and having kids.
There are too many unknowns. What if you don’t get the dream job? What if you don’t finish school?
I blame schools for making people too overconfident that life will be easy. Honestly, life is insanely hard. You’re not special and no one is waiting to help you.
Two mature adults who get married tackle the world together – but if neither of you are ready to even support yourself, supporting a family is harder.
You’ll have your big day and spend lots of time planning it – when it’s over, people will go back to their lives and no one will remember or care that you got hitched – because people get married all the time.
Once the glitz and glamour is gone, you’ll just be 2 adults with more responsibilities than you had before.
If you’re in school, it’s not time to get married
If you are in shook of any kind – whether it be undergrad or you’re getting your masters degree – it means you’re not yet an adult. Adults have careers and a plan. If you are in school of any kind, you are not an adult – and marriage is reserved for adults.
Getting married won’t make you an adult and it won’t make you look like a grown up.
Let’s stop rushing to get married and add to that 50% divorce rate – because if you’re not employed and just starting your life, getting married is the worst thing you can do.
Marriage is a commitment that you make when you’re both fully matured and understand each other as people – then you can combine your lives and move forward. But don’t think getting engaged will solve your problems and don’t ignore the fact that you haven’t yet started your life as an adult. Getting married won’t make life easier or make you an adult – it will make your life harder. Are the sacrifices and hard work worth it? Damn right it is. But it’s not easy and not for young kids who are just starting out.
Get to a place in life where your future is bright – and plan accordingly. Don’t just get married because that’s what you think you need to do next.